Allow me to take you to my current frustration; MYSPACE. Yes, I'm a grandmother, but there is no place that says grandma can't have a Myspace page. And I do. Well, sort of. I can't get there at the moment and these droids that run the site are about to cause me severe health problems stemming from the hightened stress levels of my already severely stressful life. Okay, so I'm being a little melodramatic. But my melodrama exists only on these pages and I don't get to do that anywhere else, so give me at least that, would ya?
So, about Myspace. Back in August, I aquired a new email address. Like a good Myspacer, I promptly updated my profile to include my new addy. The next time I tried to log in, my password did not work. Neither the old or the new email address would work. I couldn't log into my home page. Now, for those of you with actual lives and important things to do, this may not seem like such a catastrophe. Myspace, however, was one of my morning routines. Like my coffee and that first cigarette of the day. It's also how I keep up with my children who don't live near me, or others I would otherwise loose touch with. It can't really be explained to the uninitiated. You just have to have been there. So, I did what I've always been taught (by my children, who know so much more about cyberspace than I do) to do. I clicked that little highlighted area that says "trouble logging in?". This took me to customer service, which promptly set me up with an email template complete with headings from which to choose to let them know my purpose for emailing them. I, of course, clicked the "Trouble logging in" heading and proceeded to explain my situation. In reply, (several days later) I got this message;
Hello,
Thank you for contacting Myspace.com. In order to fulfill your request you must provide us with a salute with debbarney written on the sign:
A salute:
1. Create a hand written sign that says MySpace.com and your friend ID. Your friend ID is the number between ID= and &mytoken in your profile's URL.
2. Take a picture of yourself with this hand written sign and reply to this e-mail with the salute as an e-mail attachment, or as an e-mail link to where it is uploaded.
Thank you,
MySpace.com
Okay, so this "friend ID" they refer to is on my homepage which I cannot log into. And take a picture of myself??? Like they're going to look at it and say, "Oh, yeah. That is her. Okay, she hasn't been hacked so we'll give her access to her account. THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE!! So I politely send them another email explaining that the whole purpose of the first email was to let them know I can't log in, therefore I cannot possibly access this friend id thingy. In response, I get this:
Hello, Thank you for contacting Customer Service at MySpace.com. Unfortunately, your request cannot be fulfilled. The salute you provided is unclear. Please resend your salute of yourself holding a hand written piece of paper with your id number or user url so we can further assist you with your situation.
Thank you,
MySpace.comNow, I'm getting a little frustrated. So email them again and explain to them the salute is unclear because I didn't send one. And I politely (of course) ask them if they even read their emails. And I may have indicated my frustration with some sort of derogatory comments about their competency, I don't quite recall. So then I get this:
Hello,
Unfortunately, your request cannot be fulfilled. The email xxxxx@xxxx you have provided us with, does not have a profile attached to it.
Please provide us with your MySpace email address, friend ID or link to your account so we may investigate further.
Thanks
MySpace.com
Now I'm getting really pissed off, so I send another email giving my new email address, my old email address and both passwords. I then proceed to explain everything in detail to them again, very nicely, I might add. I mean, if Tom were truly my friend, would he not send me his personal phone number so we could get this situation resolved?? Or at the very least, send me a picture of him holding a sign saying, "hey, I'm here to help, what can I do for you?" So they (not so promptly) send me this correspondence:
Hello,
Unfortunately, your request cannot be fulfilled. In order to make an email change to your account, you must provide us with your old email/log on address, password, and the new email/log on address. If you are unable to provide a password, please send a salute.
A salute is a current photo of yourself holding a hand written sign containing your account ID for verification purposes:
Thank you,
MySpace.com
Needless to say, I very politely explained to them that the last email I sent had all that information and once again inquired as to whether or not they actually read anything I had sent or were they just playing freecell and sending out form letters. I may have mentioned some sort of brain damage potentially caused by lead paint chips, or something like that. This part is unclear to me. Several days later, I received this:
Hello,
In order to receive your password, you must first provide us with a salute for identity purposes.
A salute is a picture of you holding up a hand written paper with your id number.
Thank you
MySpace.com
WHAT THE FUCK???!!! Yes, I have begun to lose patience. So I relayed the fact that I wasn't looking for my password; I had that. IT DIDN'T WORK!!! I asked in the nicest way I knew to please just fix what ever was wrong that was stopping me from logging in and let me have my home page back. I told them again about the id being on the page I could not access and how frustrating it was that I just was not able to convey my problem to them effectively. Okay, I said something to the effect that their moms wear army boots. Well, a little stronger than that, but you get my drift. But I meant it in a most positive way. I did provide them, once again, with the email addresses, the passwords and the detailed explanation of exactly what the problem was that I was having. I haven't heard from them since (it's been 4 days), so I don't know if it's just their slow pace (which has been the norm from the beginning) or if they have given up because they just don't get it. Surely, they weren't offended by my helpful tips on how to remove their heads from their asses?? Anyway, I am still not able to access my home page, but I can read my profile. You can too, if you wish. Just type in www.myspace.com/debbarney. If you have any problems, just email them. They're always glad to be of assistance. :)
